the death of ambient lighting
Showing his consistent committment to counteracting climate change, the PM today endorsed a plan to solve all the world's problems by forcing everyone to use fluorescent lights.
"Here's something practical that everybody will participate in," Mr Howard told the ABC today, "because we'll make them."
Evidently excited to be finally contributing to the climate fight, Howard is sure this is solution to global warming.
"Yep. This should do the trick."
Environmental minister Malcolm Turnbull wants to phase out incandescent globes in 3 years, and says the plan has nothing to do with deflecting attention away from his lack-lustre handling of the whole drought problem.
Restaurateurs and bar owners everywhere are aghast.
"I mean, people come here for a nice romantic evening! Where is the romance under the harsh glare of fluorescent globes?" said Mario Supertelli, and Italian restaurateur.
Don Coiotee, manager of a trendy, inner city bar, was also dismayed. "Half our business is people trying to pick up. That isn't possible under fluorescent lighting. There is no hiding under the cold, stark, souless glow of fluorescent lights. You think these people want everyone to know what they look like?"
"This will be the end of bars. People will just use the internet to meet instead. Or maybe K-Mart, the lighting will be softer."
Amelie Cornheart, a long-term epilepsy sufferer, was more pragmatic. "Sure the ceaseless flickering of harsh neon lighting really causes me problems, including recurring epileptic fits and complete incapacitation, but surely this change to fluorescent, which may only be equivalent to a cow-fart a day, will halt the melting icecaps. If this doesn't work, what will?"
Mr Howard agreed. "I think some of the stuff that's around at the moment is too alarmist."
"We need to take practical measures in order to reduce greenhouse gas emissions."
The new lights will enable households to save nearly 12% on electricity and thus greenhouse gas emmisions. Dr Ahab Pescetore of Save the Damn Earth foundation was impressed. "I mean, sure its only a piss in the ocean of our total electricity consumption, and sure that electricity is still coming from stinking coal-burning power stations, but this could really be the wonderdrug for climate change," he said.
"Of course, if we just stopped using coal power stations, we could use whatever f*%&ing lights we wanted."
More here and here.
"Here's something practical that everybody will participate in," Mr Howard told the ABC today, "because we'll make them."
Evidently excited to be finally contributing to the climate fight, Howard is sure this is solution to global warming.
"Yep. This should do the trick."
Environmental minister Malcolm Turnbull wants to phase out incandescent globes in 3 years, and says the plan has nothing to do with deflecting attention away from his lack-lustre handling of the whole drought problem.
Restaurateurs and bar owners everywhere are aghast.
"I mean, people come here for a nice romantic evening! Where is the romance under the harsh glare of fluorescent globes?" said Mario Supertelli, and Italian restaurateur.
Don Coiotee, manager of a trendy, inner city bar, was also dismayed. "Half our business is people trying to pick up. That isn't possible under fluorescent lighting. There is no hiding under the cold, stark, souless glow of fluorescent lights. You think these people want everyone to know what they look like?"
"This will be the end of bars. People will just use the internet to meet instead. Or maybe K-Mart, the lighting will be softer."
Amelie Cornheart, a long-term epilepsy sufferer, was more pragmatic. "Sure the ceaseless flickering of harsh neon lighting really causes me problems, including recurring epileptic fits and complete incapacitation, but surely this change to fluorescent, which may only be equivalent to a cow-fart a day, will halt the melting icecaps. If this doesn't work, what will?"
Mr Howard agreed. "I think some of the stuff that's around at the moment is too alarmist."
"We need to take practical measures in order to reduce greenhouse gas emissions."
The new lights will enable households to save nearly 12% on electricity and thus greenhouse gas emmisions. Dr Ahab Pescetore of Save the Damn Earth foundation was impressed. "I mean, sure its only a piss in the ocean of our total electricity consumption, and sure that electricity is still coming from stinking coal-burning power stations, but this could really be the wonderdrug for climate change," he said.
"Of course, if we just stopped using coal power stations, we could use whatever f*%&ing lights we wanted."
More here and here.
posted by code_monkey_craig at 2:01 PM
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